Welcome to The Wandering Goblin All-Encompassing FAQ

Where we answer all your questions about geek stuff, our site, and everything else

Q: What kind of site is Wandering Goblin?

A: First and foremost, we’re an entertainment site, made specifically for our fellow geeks.

We try our best to keep up on the latest geeky news and recent nerd-culture developments.  We really do.  But that’s hard, when there are so many funny things (and shiny objects) that keep distracting us during our forays in the interwebz.

When you boil it down, we’ll cover literally anything that we think our fellow geeklings would find interesting, weird, quirky, or funny (especially teh funny).  That, combined with our love of video games, gadgets, satire, space ships, tech, ninjas, steampunkery, androids, time travel, film, comics, sci-fi, pretty much anything Japanese, gnome-punting. and copious amounts of alcohol means that Wandering Goblin is unlike anything else on the intertubez.

Q: So, then, who are you guys?

A: Well, we’re definitely not among the herd of stuffed-shirt, overly pretentious reporters that are now everywhere on the web.  Our writers are a group of veteran bloggers, and we’re proud of it.

Journalistic detachment?  Pheh.  We’re really comfortable with the whole “new media” thing, and we’re not shy about putting our insights, opinions, and offbeat funny bits into our stories.  If you’re a fan of the site, that’s pretty much why you come here. 

Q: I want to contact you guys to send you a story idea, a tip, a video, or just to be your newest super best friend. How do I do that?

A: Pretty simple. To contact us, all you have to do is decode this encrypted secret spam-fighting cypher: GoblinStaff [at] WanderingGoblin [dot] com.

Q:  You guys do a lot of MMORPG stories.  What gives?

A:  Well, the whole MMORPG culture generates a staggeringly disproportionate number of funny stories, so it’s just natural that we cover those.  On top of that, several of our editors have MMO addictions so bad, they make crackheads look like amateurs.  Combine that with the fact that Wandering Goblin started out as a MMO-exclusive blog, and you can see why we’ve got such a strong MMO emphasis.  It’s in our blood.

Q: So, like, do you guys have any goals or aspirations or anything?

A: Quite frankly, we just hope our site is funny and entertaining enough that you visit us every day. If you bookmarked us, that’d be great. If you told your friends, your clan, your Facebook buddies, or your guild mates about us, that’d be way cool, too.

Q: Wow, you guys sure are smart.  I was wondering: Do you guys believe there is intelligent life on other planets?

A: Virtually all scientists – whether they work for the UNSC, the Federation, the Empire, or Stargate Command – all agree on one thing: that most species in the galaxy are English-speaking humanoids with only superficial differences to humans. Pointed ears and blue skin aside, most alien species also have surprisingly alluring women, who are wide open to mating with the human males they encounter.

Q: Wait a minute. I seem to remember someone on your staff writing for another website. What’s up with that?

A: Look, Wandering Goblin is our first love, but we’ve got what you might call an ‘open relationship’. Other magazines or websites occasionally think we’re funny (yeah, they’re wackos) and hire us to scribble out a little something for them. So yeah, we’re easy and available for hire.

Q: Who would win: the ninjas or the pirates? I really want to know.

A: One insight:  never ever bring a sword to a musket fight.

Q: How come we never see Stinkerbelle doing your on-camera interviews? Everyone else on your staff does them. Besides, I heard she’s super hot.

A: She is super hot. She’s also camera shy and can become invisible at will.

Q: I love your site, but I want to see more pictures of hot chicks. Why don’t you post more pictures of hot chicks?

A: What was it, exactly, about ‘Wandering Goblin’ gave you the impression that we were a (ahem) “gentleman’s website”? As far as we know, there are no goblin porn sites in existence. At least not yet.

Q: I want to:

May I?

A: “May I?” Did you go to charm school or something? Of course you can. In fact, we would love the attention.

Q: I want to write for you. Can I?

A: You’ll probably change your mind when you find out how much this pays. If you really want to give this a shot, contact us. We’re always open to new bloggists bloggeristas blogeros writers.

Q: Is it true that elves, dwarves, and other fantasy creatures have withdrawn from humans, and now live underground away from prying eyes?

A: Pffffft.  Those are silly myths.

As everyone knows, the Underground Realm is the exclusive domain of the mole people.

Q: You guys poke fun at China a lot. Why?

A: If by “you guys”, you actually mean “Deirdre”, you are correct. She does. The combination of 1) strange video game-related stories that come out of there, and 2) horrible human rights violations by their government, somehow rings her bell. If you ask her about it, she’ll smile wanly and say, “If you don’t laugh about it, it’ll make you cry.”

Q: What is your relationship to the IncGamers network of websites?

A: Wandering Goblin is completely independently owned. However, we are super BFFs with the owners of the IncGamers network, and have been for years. Thus we write stuff for them or, if something tickles our funny bone, we plug their stories, etc. They do the same for us. Sometimes we all talk on the phone and ask insightful questions like, “How are the kids?” and stuff like that. It’s all very riveting.

Q: Did Han really shoot first?

A: Yep.

Q: My comment got edited. Why?

A: Listen, if your comment got edited/removed/deleted on Wandering Goblin, it means you exceeded our extraordinarily high threshold for tolerating weenies. Whatever it was you said, it had to be really bad. We’ve played with more than our share of trolls and grognards, so we’re used to a fair amount of impotent nastiness in chat/forums/comments. As such, we generally don’t edit for simple flaming, trolling, or other typical whatnot.

Q:  What is your privacy policy at Wandering Goblin?

A:  Our privacy policy is really simple: we don’t actually collect any information about you. If you choose to register for the site (which we really do encourage), the only information we retain is the very basic stuff you yourself typed into our 3-question registration form, and that’s just so you can keep logging in and commenting on our ridiculous stories. We never share that information with anyone outside of Wandering Goblin, and we only look at that information when the cone of silence is activated and after Goblin HQ has been swept for surveillance devices.

Q:  Is it true that a member of your staff is the president of the Brad McQuaid Fan Club?

A:  Yes, Acea is not only the club’s president, he’s the only remaining member.

Q:  You guys confuse me.  Sometimes you post stories that,  strictly speaking, seem a bit off topic.  What gives?

A:  The reasons for this vary.  In a nutshell, if we think our fellow geeklings will find a story funny or interesting, we’ll cover literally anything.  In still other instances, a story made it onto the front page because half the staff was too drunk to really care that it has nothing whatsoever to do with traditional geekery.  That’s been happening a lot lately.

Q:  Is it true that you guys have pissed off famous porn starlets, old-school game celebrities, and professional baseball players?

A:  Among a fairly wide variety of others, yes.  Because we call ‘em like we see ‘em, people sometimes get mad.  Occasionally they even send us nastygrams.  Oh well.

Q:  Ok, now I have a question about….

A:  Whoa there, pardner.  We’ve answered so many questions, our answer box is now empty.  If you’d like to send us your personal questions, feel free to email us, send us a message via carrier pigeon, or contact us with your psionic powers.