Ask Elvyra

Written by Elvyra Monday, 25 August 2008 08:24

It seems so often, these days, that I am asked for my help with the virtual woes of others. Last week, I put my virtual advice to paper, Wandering Goblin decided to publish it, and it turned out to be a big hit. Who'd have thought THAT would happen?

Of course, when one asks me for my opinion, it's a mixed bag. I try to accept the lost and the forlorn and guide them to a deeper, greater understanding of themselves. Generally, I do this by lending a listening ear, showing some gentle compassion, and by slapping them silly with a healthy dose of sarcasm. I learned that from my psychologist.

In this weeks' "Ask Elvyra" we get a couple of interesting letters from individuals struggling with their online lives. One doesn't understand why her avatar's cleavage is ever-changing, while another can't seem to get over his obsession with a well-known game developer. Of course, I'm able to help them both.

Read more of my virtual advice for their virtual lives after the jump!

Grouchy Goes to WAR

Written by Pig Monday, 25 August 2008 07:04

There's a great write-up over at The Grouchy Gamer about the variety of reactions to Warhammer Online. He sums up (and makes fun of) the various opinions of the game nicely; everything from "It'll be the greatest MMO evar" to "This game suxx0rs, and will be dead the day it ships".

Grouchy actually touches a wee little nerve with this article. For whatever reason, some folks are just flat-out loving WAR; others are hating on it, hard. It makes little sense. Grouchy manages, somehow, to capture the way-too-strong opinions of some very vocal MMO fanbois and fangurls about WAR, while simultaneously taunting, teasing, and otherwise causing a chuckle or two. Nice.

The Biggest, Dumbest Pet You'll See All Day

Written by Stinkerbelle Monday, 25 August 2008 06:32

The Big Red Kitty videos, which deal exclusively with WoW hunter issues, are a good time. This week, BRK brings us a new pet from the WotLK beta, the rhino. Now a rhino pet doesn't seem all that exciting at first blush, but wait till you see this sucker. He's big. Big to the point of being both ridiculous and non-functional. How do you use something that big in an instance? Ah, but how I wax philosophical. Enjoy the video of a pet that's 8x the size of your hunter.

 

My Spaceship Is > Yours.

Written by Child Sunday, 24 August 2008 16:59

An independently owned developer called NetDevil has released a cinematic trailer for their upcoming Jumpgate Evolution. A space ship-based MMO that is currently under development. There is for sure room to grow in the space-based MMO market as EVE online has certainly proved. It looks like from the trailer that they are approaching a fast based combat-type scenario, which could very well indeed entice the goblins to put on their flight suits. Anywho, if you're in the mood to hear about a terrible situation voiced by a dramatic female voice and about a galaxy in a war-stricken state, check out the trailer below.

Enjoy your Sunday!

[source]

UK Police Doing Their Job!

Written by Elvyra Sunday, 24 August 2008 09:42

OMG, glad the UK police were able to get this very dangerous weapon off the streets!

The 18 Hour Boss Fight, Redux

Written by Pig Sunday, 24 August 2008 08:18

Recently, we covered the story of the Pandemonium Warden, the Final Fantasy XI endgame boss that simply wouldn't die. By 'recently', of course, we mean eleven days ago. In a nutshell, the endgame raiding guild Beyond the Limitation (BTL) simply couldn't down the boss, despite an 18 hour long fight. They had to call it quits after several members became ill because of the extended struggle.

Well, Square Enix, showing the customer support for which they are famous, jumped all over that problem. Of course, by 'jumped all over' we mean 'finally got around to responding 11 days later.' Now THAT, friends, is the kind of lightning-quick response that shows customers you care about them, and tells the world 'we are serious about fixing major problems in our game'. 

For more on Square Enix' excellent customer support, as well as a quick lesson in blaming your customers for playing incorrectly, hit the jump.

Read more: The 18 Hour Boss Fight, Redux

Age Of Conan & Snazzy New Content!

Written by Child Saturday, 23 August 2008 15:59

It's been a few months since Age Of Conan hit the shelves, we covered an initial release of Age of Conan, and we've covered the updates they're making to the PVP, and we've also covered the fact that AoC is doing well fighting for the # 2 MMO spot and may continue to do well. Well, it seems like Funcom is really keeping to their word on delivering what players want, or at least trying too. It seems the upcoming updates are pretty big, and look pretty neat. It's definitely apparent that the AoC crew is at least trying to keep their jobs, and keep people interested in their lovely little world of decapitation, scantly clad women, and demons.

Recently, a little video popped up on the internet that is a 25 minute long video introducing a lot of Age of Conan's new updates, it's long, and the guys on the video are a little goofy and have accents, which is always amusing. Anywho, Here's the down low.

• New slum neighborhood area that they refer too as, "a bad bad neighborhood that you wouldn't want to walk into at night"

• In the slums, there will be 2 gang factions and you will have to choose a side
• Quests involving the gang factions will involve roof top jumping, climbing in windows, and forcing people to walk PLANKS
• Revamped dungeons with traps and more elaborate boss encounters
• New outdoor area with giants, local-wide quests that effect all players, and a new dungeon with a demi-god chained inside
• Lots of new equipment and items with more aesthetics and variety added

So out of it all, it really seems like they are really trying to pump AoC full of the precious content and the fun that it is going to need if it wants to have staying power in todays harsh, enormous, and some-what insane MMO market. A lot of the new stuff looks really fun (ie; jumping from roof top to roof top, breaking into homes, and murdering people on buildings) and they're trying to think out side of the box when coming up with new quests, and attempting to avoid fetch quests. One example is as follows; a gang wants you to bring them the finger of a rival gang member and you have the choice of either obliging fully or you can take the finger of a dead body in the streets. The developers also make note that if you get to caught cheating them something bad may happen, which we assume will lead to some sort of disfigurement involving a broken bottle. Of course, the new gear looks pretty awesome and anything that makes me look not like a ninja or warlord with flip flops is a plus in the goblins book.

The main problem was the lack of content at level 40+ and the strive to fill that area is starting to stumble in, and as the days press on, it looks like players requests are being answered. So if you still have your AoC account laying around, or haven't played in a bit, jump on and try some of the new fun out!

If you're interested in the video, you can check out the entire thing here.
[source]

StarCraft MMO? Wouldn't It Be Nice.

Written by Elvyra Saturday, 23 August 2008 10:09

In an interview over at VideoGamer.com a question is asked; is Is there potential for the StarCraft universe to branch out into other areas, like MMOs? Fans would love it, but according to Frank Pierce, that would be very difficult after the amount of blood and sweat that has been poured into World of Warcraft.

The goblins say difficult, but not impossible and even Frank knows that it's not up to him in the first place, it's all about what the StarCraft team is ready to take on. Of course Frank does give us a look at the difference in team size. The WoW team has 135 members and the StarCraft team has only 40. We all know for a fact that Blizzard is working on another MMO and there was something mentioned in Frank's interview about StarCraft Ghost being shelved but not forgotten, so maybe we'll be seeing it in the future. We can only speculate.

Read the full interview here.

[source]

The Smartest Woman in Second Life

Written by Pig Saturday, 23 August 2008 10:02

Kimberly Jernigan liked Second Life. As is surprisingly common with the residents of SL, she met a special someone. Though her avatar was a woman, and his was a lion, the two began a cross-species romance, and eventually fell in love. She and her virtual boyfriend eventually met in real life but, sadly, it didn't work out. The boyfriend didn't want to continue the real life romance.

Kimberly was having none of that. The lion-man would be hers. This is LOVE, dammit, and her virtual boyfriend would be her real life boyfriend, come hell or high water. So Kimberly hatched an incredibly intelligent plan:

1. Kimberly drove to the lion-man's place of work, and attempted to kidnap him at gunpoint (as everyone knows, forcing someone to love you by kidnapping them works almost every time). Unfortunately, the kidnapping attempt failed.

2. Using her love-driven determination, she found her lion-love's home address. Cagey lion-man that he was, he'd moved (maybe because he was afraid of gun-toting women showing up unannounced?) and left no forwarding address.

3. Kimberly then posed as a postal worker, and was able to find her lover's NEW address.

4. She broke into his apartment, ready to ambush her lover when he came home. For reasons unknown, she'd brought her dog Gogi with her. When Gogi made too much noise (dogs really don't make good accomplices during ambush-kidnappings), she tied him up with duct tape in the bathroom.

5. Her virtual lion-love came home, found a strange woman and a duct-taped dog in his apartment, and became, you know, concerned. When she pointed a laser sight at him, he fled and called the police.

6. Police chased Kimberly down and, after a struggle, restrained and arrested her.

Kimberly is looking at charges of attempted kidnapping, burglary, and aggravated menacing. The local SPCA is also looking to pursue possible animal abuse charges as a result of that little misunderstanding involving duct-taping her dog while she was, um, visiting her virtual-boyfriend's apartment.

She's apparently looking at a minimum of 10 years if convicted of all charges. She's hoping her lion-love will wait for her.

[Source]