Twilight is a book series about vampires. The first book has already been made into a film which, because of the incredible creative minds behind the books, was also called Twilight. Both the books and film are incredibly popular with teens. There’s no question about that.
It may be because I’m not 15 years old, but I’ve never been a fan of anything to do with Twilight. I mean, look, I like vampires. But what I don’t like is anything that’s supposedly about vampires, but which is really about people wearing cool clothes, being good looking, and staring at each for uncomfortable periods of time. Call me crazy, but any form of ‘entertainment’ that’s about clothes, staring, and being good looking has always bored the crap out of me.
Well now fans of the ‘Twilight phenomenon’ are taking boring to a whole new level. They are creating their own religion, based on the books/film. It’s called Cullenism, after the family of Vampires in Twilight, and they have their own very strange set of beliefs. The first, and primary bit of dogma you have to believe to be a Cullenist is that the characters in the Twilight series are real. No, they’re not characters invented by author Stephanie Meyer. No, no, no, they’re real living, breathing people. And real, living (Unliving? Whatever…) breathing teen vampires. Of course, that’s not all. There are a whole series of beliefs, and the religion is open to adopting more beliefs as others become members. Hit the jump for all the details, but be forewarned: this will either make your brain explode with its incredible stupidity, or it’ll make you want to wear cool clothes and stare at other people who wear cool clothes, too.
Here’s the post on the official Twilight forums that begins the religious discussion:
Just like any other religion, we have beliefs and values. Each belief may take on more importance for one person than it may for another, there is no wrong way to decide which beliefs are more important than others. So here are the main Cullenism beliefs, however, this list is not a limit to what you can believe in when it comes to the Cullenism religion, Cullenists are a welcoming and caring group of people, and we will accept any other Cullenism beliefs you may have!
These are our beliefs (in no certain order).
As a Cullenist we believe:
Edward and the rest of the Twilight characters are real
Stephenie Meyer is the (or one of the) best author(s)
The twilight series should be worshiped
If you are good in life, you will be bless with eternity with the Cullens, if you are bad in life, you will be sent to James’ cave
As I said earlier you are free to take a stronger belief in some of these than others. Other than that, happy reading! 
and I hope this was a useful resource, I also hope you continue on with your Cullenist beliefs!!! May the Cullens bless you!
Further down in the thread someone adds a rule that says that Cullenists must visit Forks, Washington (where the series takes place) once in your lifetime; the new Cullenists all rabidly support that proposal. Other posters indicate that they treat Twilight like the Bible, reading a little each night. When these new believers are criticized by another poster, (for making up their own religion based on a work of fiction) a forum mod warns the critic (he really shouldn’t be bashing people’s religion, that’s very rude) and he is threatened with banning.
Just when I thought I’d seen everything, this comes along. Sheesh.
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This is the last freaking straw.
These idiots have been prancing around my school, the malls, the bookstores, and under every rock, shouting rants of Twilight and how “hot Edward Cullen is” (who, in my opinion, isn’t very attractive at all). I’ve met people who memorized words in the book.
Freaking pathetic.
All this time, I’ve felt repulsed. And then, as someone who likes the topic of vampires and is very interested in vampire lore, it was almost a personal attack when I read that the Cullens SPARKLE.
I hate Stephanie Meyer.
She fails as an author. I couldn’t get through the first chapter of the book.
But that’s not why I loathe that pathetic excuse for human trash so much. She created all this SHIT!
You’re telling me—these fucking idiots went as far as to start a RELIGION?!?! Some 15 year old lunatic without a boyfriend or a cat to name after her crush, decided, “let me fantasize Edward Cullen is real in all his sparklyness, cuz I’m a stupid bitch!” Because, it is SO realistic that the Cullens just JUMPED right out of that retarded ass book? Or, Stephanie Meyer is a genius who knew they existed. No, “SHE’S PROBABLY THE REASON FOR CREATION! SHE STARTED ALL!” Yes, the characters in a FICTIONAL-FUCKING-BOOK EXIST!
Hell, all my characters from my own stories exist as well! I talk to them in my room at night.
ALL HAIL THE AWESOME SPARKLYNESS OF TWILIGHT!
FUCK NO.
well okay, I love the Twilight series.
but turn it into a RELIGION seriously??? this is sick, man. freak.
[...] seems I can no longer make fun of Twilight, because a bunch of 15-year-old girls want to make it a religion. Yes, for the low, low price of your dignity, you too can believe that the characters in the [...]
*blinks and snickers*
…*pauses*…
*rolls onto the floor and laughs ass off*
…*pauses*…
*snickers*
—–That is all.
Does anyone else feel sorry for the people who live in Forks? I mean, its not their fault SMeyer choose to write about them. Also, Dracula (the book and the vampire)is amazing but aparently the kind of vampire that we mortal have been reading aobut for years wasn’t good enough for SMeyer. I mean, what good is a vampire that is evil, can die, has weaknesses, and faults? I mean, come on, that would be realistic or something!
While I think this is just plain dumb how they worship this horrible book, its still just a joke (unless there really are brainless 15 year olds thinking Edward, a damn sparklepire, is real). I’m part of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and the Heathus Christ of Ledger Day Saints for the shitz and gigglez and they are too. Don’t take it so seriously.
Reminds me of how Scientology was founded by a science fiction writer, only I’m guessing in this instance that SM has nothing to do with it.
where did the last scrap of sanity in this world go to?come back sanity,i need you!
anyways,back to the topic.ARE THEY CRAZY?????
what in the hell is ‘cullenism’?Now they start a cult.the next thing we know all the 14-15 year olds will start building statues of Edward Cullen and his family around the world.
it’s world domination of the ‘cullenised’ teenagers if that ever happens.we should station 24/7 policemen around the doors of the uncullenised so that the sane people left are not harmed or infulenced in any way by the cullenised.
OK.. i for one like the twilight serious.. but this???.. WTF man… i knew it was over rated.. but this bad.. im not going to say that its bad to beleive in it.. but why the fuck would you.. its completly and uterly stupid to think any of this much less belive in it.. im not one for religion so maybe im not the right person to say this.. but jezzz pick up something else like a bible or Dhammapada (buddism for all you guys who dont know) this is rediculous.. GET A FUCKING LIFE!!!!
As a matter of fact, it is fake. It doesnt exist. Its a joke.
THANK GOD.
(though i know some people wo would join.)
batshit crazy but definitely funny. lighten up guys. i think these twilight-ers are just messing around and making a fool of themselves. although, if they were really taking this seriously then i would worry.
If twilight chars are real then I’m a Sith Lord, Legolas is my neighbour, I have a Night Elf Demon Hunter as a best friend and Alucard is my step-brother.
SOMEBODY CALL /B/ACKUP!
Ah, Cullenism…A ticket to Hell has never been funnier.
So I love Twilight and decided to go check this place out–I mean, Edward is so HOT! I can see why everybody loves hime! Well, I joined the forum and everything–Great people! Nice members, and I completely agree with the religion!
I mean, who COULDN’T like this amazing book?
So I got my husband into it. We set up a private church a few streets away and got quite a number of moms and some dads to come. Now all the teens in the neighborhood come every Sunday to hear our readings! It’s actually really fun! We have Twilight coloring sheets and the little kids can watch the movie or have the book read to them for Sunday School!
It’s really a blast for the whole family!
This has been going on for about a month now, so we’re pretty full up at the moment, but you really should come by the next time you’re in Bel-Air.
wow people have no lives anymore and actually setting up a private church on it? really what the heck? why not go and read up on and ACTUAL religion not one based on a FICTIONAL novel. It’s fiction, not meant to have people think the characters are real. If that were the case all the people from various cartoons, tv shows, etc would be real but they’re not
in order to not think that edward is hot there’d have to be another description of him other than “hot”. edward is not robert.
My brain actually exploded. Someone call 911, my aneurysm might soak one of the library books on my desk which are ACTUAL literature.
Guys, you DO realise this isn’t serious. Read any Twilight Forum, they’re all having fun being insane, but they know it’s not serious. Notice one of the ‘beliefs’ was that SM is the best writer, and another was ‘Twilight is THE best book’ and then theres all that stuff about how it’s real…GUYS, NEWSFLASH. THEY ARE JUST DOING THIS FOR THE LULZ.
lighten up!
[...] battles to this day after it’s inception ten years ago. Pokemon may have it’s own religion soon, if it doesn’t [...]
WHAT THE ACTUAL PEANUT?
I’m worshipped?
And yes I am real!
I sparkle in the sunlight…
And I have a vagina for a face that the whole of the world seems to love.
OMJ I’m gay.
OMG EDWARD!!! I LOVE YOU! SPARKLE FOR ME!
Tell me I’m gorgeous and that I look like a baboon!
I’m so glad that fans have discovered Cullenism. Christianity – Bullshit. Islam – Fuck that. Cullenism, is the REAL THING.
Omg,
I tried to join but it says that Admin wont allow anymore people!!! HELLPPPP! Im a massive twilight fan. Omg i read the message about the Church. That sounds amazing, i wish someone would do that near me i would defo go!
And to all you haters, if you made fun of someone elses religion it would hurt there feelings. So lay of us lot too please. So before you bitch about us think about our feelings because we are human beings after all! Thank You. x
CullenistForEverxxxxx
OMG! What has the world come to…? Ok, even if Edward and Bella and the whole gang of perfect vampires existed and you humans are finally looking up to us (i’m a werewolf i don’t mind if u dont believe me)then great but why arent other vampires besides these FICTIONAL characters being worshipped? Why aren’t REAL vampires and REAL werewolves being glorified? I mean if you are going to start “cullenism” which sounds alot like a cult, then respect the other vampires! My favourite book of the series was New Moon because he left her. Did you know there is also a twilight dildo? It frikkin sparkles. No joke. You people have gone to far. I am not insulting your religion, I only wish to point out nobody has worshipped harry potter yet.
He he. Potterism.
Someone just ask a Twilight obsessed fan why the books are so great. Then as they rant a bunch of useless garbage about true love and shit, quickly take their Twilight stash, toss it back on the supermarket shelves next to the other crappy romance novels, and give them Frankenstein (or insert obnoxious book here), a box of chocolates, and convince them Edward is running between the pages or something.
By the way, Potterism wouldn’t be a bad idea *cough*. Speaking of which, what the hell happened to Harry Potter after it finished? It’s like, the whole Cedric Diggory/Edward Cullen transformation totally shifted the focus. O_oU
alright… alright… calm down kittens… everyone is entitled to their own level of insanity. sure, the idea that someone, anyone on this rock we call Mother Earth could even concieve that the author of a book and her imaginary(yes, friends, imaginary) characters could achieve deity status, become real as you or I sit here, well, yes, it doesn in fact cause several arteries in my body explode simultaneously. and as my room fills up with Blackhearted blood i suddenly realize that hey, this was done before…. Lovecraft! Tolkien! Rice!
Roddenberry! kittens, it’s a fad. just a fad. when this series has long gone and the movies are neatly placed on the bookshelf, those teeny boppers that conjured up this novel but rather ludicris sounding religion will grow up, have their own children, and then speak of the old days when they (gafaws) actually believed vampires were real.
btw, FYI if vamps were real, we wouldn’t have to figure out ways for population crontrol. the vamps would have done it for us already.
i wonder how sanguinarians feel about this?
OMG
NO!
Just. No.
Twilight makes Dracula cry.
Vampires do NOT sparkle.
And do NOT make a stupid FICTIONAL book into a religion!
Remember Dianetics? It happens..
[...] Except it seems to draw in a certain… crowd. Not only has Twilight created it’s own religion, Burger King has a new campaign promoting the ‘battle’ and I use that world extremely [...]