Goblins Piss Off Porn Starlet
by
Pig
Gaming, I’ll be the first to admit, makes for strange bedfellows. Not that porn actress Mia Rose and I are bedfellows. No way. The wife would kill me. To be frank, just by looking at Mia, the first thing I’d do upon awakening the morning after is immediately kill myself.
But I digress. Allow me to start over.
A short while back, porn star Mia Rose got herself banned from WoW. She wrote to Kotaku about it, explaining what happened and complaining about its overall unfairness. The moment this story broke, we here at WanderingGoblin.com couldn’t help ourselves: we made fun of the whole thing.
Truth is, we weren’t all that nice. We were sarcastic; but then again we’re always sarcastic. We really didn’t buy Mia’s story about her banning. We implied that there was a lot more to it than she was telling the world. Oh, and I called her ?ugly?.
Well, Mia found out about it. Mia is pissed. Mia is commenting. And Mia’s shit is so damn funny, I couldn’t help but tell you all about it. Here’s the post on our site by ?Miarosexxx?:
….. Considering you didn’t go too easy on me, than I will be straight forward with you. PIG.
You need to read the real info. AmberNight.org. I responded IN THE COMMENTS…. <~ just so you dont miss it.
And honest to fucking god… I know a horriable picture… But if you honestly say its the ‘only’ one you could find… Your a twit. its off my site. In the ‘free preveiw’ so.. nice searching skills. The whole suspensions was cause someone made a comment on my nasty nose. I know its fucking nasty. thats why I have had it done. And that picture? Your a joke. Moving on.
myspace.com/MiaroseXXX … if that makes your LONg search any easier.
Anyway…. thanx for being super nice. :: sigh ::
http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u237/evilangelxxx/_F8E6280.jpg
http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u237/evilangelxxx/29.jpg
http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u237/evilangelxxx/8.jpg
Please understand, we at WanderingGoblin.com focus on two things: MMOs, and humor. Mia’s story was funny, we covered it in our sarcastic, humorous way, and we moved on. This story is five days old, and it’s long over. That is, until Mia began posting angrily (five days later? Huh?) on the site and gave us about a hundred pounds of new, absolutely hilarious ammunition.
Much of the humor resulted from the links Mia posted in her angry little comment, which both Elvyra and I duly followed. I swear to you, some of the fallout of following those links was so freaking funny, it had the both of us in near-tears with laughter.
Here’s seven reasons why:
One: Mia claims that she received a lot of unwanted attention in World of Warcraft. This resulted in her banning. Yet in virtually every comment Mia has made, from her story on Kotaku, to her comments on AmberNight’s blog (a gaming blog we highly recommend, btw), to her comments on WanderingGoblin, Mia can’t stop spamming out her pornsite’s web address, her myspace page, and other self-promoting links. She even posted 3 links of herself dressed (well, more undressed, but whatever) as an erotic elf on our site.
In a nutshell, every time this woman opens her mouth, she makes everyone more and more suspicious that self-promotion of her porn career was the real reason she got banned.
One forum poster indicated that that was exactly the problem: “Miarose makes it out like she?s being singled out for unwanted attention because of her real-world profession, but nothing could be further from the truth. She was a constant presence in general chat and on the server forums, and (although I?m [sure] some of the disparaging comments got tiring) she was actively seeking attention.”
Two: Mia writes with a sense of genuinely dignified outrage at her banning. I’d argue that she’s equally outraged that people are making fun of the whole thing, as well as the fact that some are disrespecting her. During her various ‘outraged outbursts’, Mia directs people to the above-mentioned links.
And that’s when any sense of dignity flies right out the window. In her welcome message at her porn site, Mia proudly proclaims her recent award for ?Best Actress for an Anal Performance?. The movie she won the award for was ?Own My Ass?. Her myspace page, which Mia cannot seem to stop talking about, includes the following dignified pics:
For the record, we are unsure whether either the feet or the boobs belong to Mia, or whether this picture just appealed to her dignified sense of humor.
In this picture, Mia describes herself as the best mount ever, while being simultaneously dry-humped by a paladin. Now that’s dignity for you.
Please don’t take the previous pictures as representative of the content of Mia’s myspace page. The stuff we’ve included here is mild. She’s got a whole slew of other content on her page, much of which isn’t quite as dignified as either the feet-on-boobs picture, or the paladin-dry-humping picture, above.
Three: Mia can’t write for sh*t. No, seriously, it’s bad. Not only is her grammar as bad as her, um, ?acting,? her ability to capitalize is completely impaired. To make matters worse, someone broke all the punctuation keys on Mia’s computer.
Even more tragic, Mia apparently can’t seem to find the spell-check button either. (Hint: Mia, it’s right on the top bar of your word processor. It’s the button marked with an ?ABC?.) Consider the quotes I’ve posted below. They’re quite a random selection, frankly, but exemplify Mia’s command of the language. These fine examples of what we like to call “porn star English” come from her comments here at WG, as well as her various comments at AmberNight, and an excerpt or two from Kotaku.
I know a horriable picture… But if you honestly say its the ‘only’ one you could find… Your a twit. its off my site. In the ‘free preveiw’
Hey, learn hot to search, stop using Google, go to Myspace or something, I’ve had a noise job
As believe it or not, I am not stupid enough to be ok with anyone posting X rated sites, especially a one that belongs to me anywhere but in private messages (uh…what?!). 2 days of suspension. I was back for another two days. Blizz investigated my account further, due to all the fuss online.
But, no where does it say I infact raid with them
As to my site mail being uber gay, and receiving 20,000 spam messages a day.
Horriable…preveiw…learn hot to search…noise job…As believe it or not…especially a one that belongs to me…infact….uber gay. Her use of the language hurts my eyes! Please, make it stop! Make it stop!
In all seriousness, I could go on and on, posting excerpts from Mia’s various comments, but you get the idea. You can read the original Kotaku article right here, and Amber’s post on this issue (with Mia’s enlightening comments) here if you’d like to see more of Mia’s literary skills. Or, of course, you can always read the front page of her site…although I’m sure she’ll blame her web designer for those typos.
Four: At times, Mia appears genuinely upset that people aren’t being sympathetic. If you aren’t sympathetic, but instead make fun of Mia, she’s going to post angrily on your site. (Trust us on this one.) I’ve come to think that she may have actually expected an outpouring of support for her. Go figure.
Five: Mia calls me a PIG. Now that’s downright offensive (/snicker).
Six: I checked the official Mal’Ganis forums. Everyone has a lot to say about Mia, and they all know she’s a porn star. Mia also has a lot to say about herself. Most of it discredits any claims she’s making as to her suspension. While much of her posting is legitimately in regard to in-game matters, she either actively promotes herself and her career throughout, or allows it to be promoted by others. Let’s see…
[After being solicited by Mal'Ganis players] Try the bunny Ranch….. Maybe you can find a girl there. I’m not stupid enough to sleep with un tested civilians…. : (
[when asked about the Whorecraft videos] Thats not my website. My website does not have any bears on it. I assume that you are talking about W. Craft. In which case, the bear is a trained full size Grizzly that was used for a fight scene. The guy who owns the bear, did the tigers in the movie ” Gladiator ” And thinking he was used for anything else makes you either,
One poster, sick of hearing about Mia, said this, “Then just flip a few pages back and look for the hundreds of OMG IT’S MIA ROSE @MIA ROSE MIA ROSE IS A SKANK LEAVE MIA ROSE ALONE threads. Someone just just sticky a post that says YES WE HAVE PR0N STAR HERE NOW GTFO.”
One poster had this to say about Mia’s return from a suspension: i was wondering what had happened to MG’s most favorite pornstar/pinata…glad to see you back
Oh, and by the way, Mia’s signature on the official forums is “The Real Mia Rose”. Yeah, she sure got a lot of unwanted and unsolicited attention. Poor thing.
Seven: In the Kotaku article (and comments), the AmberNight comments, and the comments on our site, Mia mentions her porn site no less than four times. She mentions her myspace page no less than five times. And in the comments on our site, she posts links to three pics of herself.
Apparently, similar behaviors occurred in-game. One AmberNight poster said the following:
As far as I?m concerned miarose got what was a long time coming. I can actually recall times (in the wee hours of the morning) her spamming trade (the new everything for retards channel) looking for someone to tank something for her. I didn?t really think much of it until she started saying she?d give out free passes to her website to anyone that would tank for her group.
She should have been tagged for GM attention back then. Hopefully all the raging hormonal teen boys on the server can go follow her to where ever she goes.
Although blatant self-promotion is everywhere, Mia can be a bit more sublte, too. She insisted on registering herself as Miarosexxx (which is the name of her site) in two of those three sites mentioned, above. And she just throws out the fact that she has a myspace page (without giving the specific URL) on several occasions. The net result of almost all of her comments is the same: you, me, and everyone else clearly knows that Mia has both a personal web page and a myspace page. And we know it because Mia keeps telling us.
Kinda gets you wondering, doesn’t it?
Could this whole thing be nothing but an exercise in self-promotion? Is the whole shebang nothing but a publicity stunt?
It’s hard to say. If Mia’s literary skills are any indication, she may not be clever enough to have pulled this off. It’s always possible that she has an agent, however, that feels that the geek audience is one worth pursuing. Geeks like porn, right? Geeks have money, right? And geeks like chicks dressed up as elves, right? Hmmmm.
More likely, we tend to think that this is all just a happy accident for Mia. Her constant, non-stop self-promotion seems to be a genuine part of her character. She simply cannot stop talking about herself, and telling the world to visit her websites. This whole ?look at me, I’m naked? thing appears to be, in our estimation, what likely got her banned in the first place.
That’s where the ?happy accident? part worked out in Mia’s favor. Even though it got her in trouble in WoW (if there’s any truth to that story at all), the fact that Mia can’t stop talking about herself has helped her after the fact. Kotaku, AmberNight, and other sites carrying this story have all driven traffic to Mia’s sites. And that, folks, is how Mia makes money.
If that’s the case, then we are as guilty as anyone. You got us, Mia. I just wrote an entire article, some of which will undoubtedly get you some subscriptions to your site. Congrats and Merry Christmas in August.
One last request, Mia. Since we’ve now driven traffic to your site, could you please post a link on your porn site to WanderingGoblin.com? I promise I’ll stop calling you ?ugly? if you do. C’mon, Mia, be a sport!
Copyright 2007 by WanderingGoblin.com. All rights, even to a piece of mildly humorous, porn-mongering bit of trash like this, are reserved.
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